Yer Better Half
c. '16 Vlayman

I gotta tellya, honey, I really appreciate
when you tell the hospital how you fell down the stairs sleepwalking in the dark,
And I love ya to death, when you tell 'em in all seriousness
That that I'm yer better half, I'm yer better half

And it's a great thing that you did making yer daddy believe,
that you've grown clumsy and you often walk into walls,
And those burns marks on yer arm are from a cooking accident, he believes,
and you told him nothing really hurts at all

CH: I'm sorry, baby, I tell you once again
Let's get some drinks and have some laughs
I know you'll forgive as you know you'll outlive me
I'm yer better half

I don't mean to hate you and you know I don't all the time,
It's just sometimes something in my head seems to snap,
And I would never rape you, but I will keep you in line because I'm yer better half

CH: I'm sorry, baby, I tell you once again
Let's get some drinks and have some laughs
I know you'll forgive as you know you'll outlive me
I'm yer better half

Bridge: I can't stand to think about it anymore
I'm standing here right outside yer bedroom door (that you locked)
I'm real sorry that I called you a whore (I won't do it no more)
Won't you let me in, let me again?

And yeah, I gotta record and it says I did some things (I ain't proud of)
but you promised to love and obey nonetheless
And if I only told you just before we put on the rings, I wasn't hidin' nuthin'
And you still took me as yer better half

CH: I'm sorry, baby, I tell you once again
Let's get some drinks and have some laughs
I know you'll forgive as you know you'll outlive me
I'm yer better half